The Good Girl’s Guide to Tantric Sex

Tantric sex is probably one of the most misunderstood sexual practices in the Western world, so much so that it has become the butt of jokes in popular culture. Just take a look at how some TV shows, such as “Sex and the City”, have made fun of it in the past.

But tantric sex is more than just about having sexual pleasure. It helps create a deep, intimate connection between you and your partner. Tantric sex is all about being present in the moment to achieve a fulfilling and sensual sexual experience.

Here’s everything you need to know about tantric sex, from techniques, positions, and tips for building the moment.

Tantric Sex in a Nutshell

Tantric sex is a centuries-old sexual practice that originated from early Hinduism. It’s part of the ancient spiritual path called tantra, which loosely stems from religious texts that emphasize spiritualism.

Tantric sex is all about connection, whether with yourself or with your partner. It’s a slow and meditative form of sex that transcends both the sexual and spiritual planes. Instead of physical gratification, tantric sex is all about moving sexual energy throughout the body for enlightenment, healing, and transformation.

Some experts believe that tantric sex may help fix sexual problems, such as erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation.

Get to Know Your Body

Tantric sex encourages you to become more in tune with your body by making you understand your desires and what gives you pleasure. This lets you pay closer attention to your body’s needs and wants and ensure that they’re fulfilled, leading to more intense orgasms and greater sexual fulfillment.

Get to Know Your Partner’s Body

Tantric sex is not just about pleasuring your own body. It’s also about honoring your partner’s body and creating a deeper and more intimate connection with them. You and your partner feed each other energy that keeps on growing even after you’re finished having sex. As a result, you both become more physically and spiritually aware of each other. It may even help revive or strengthen your connection.

Interested in trying tantra but don’t know how to broach the subject? Here are some tips on how to approach the topic with your partner.

1. Explain to your partner what tantric sex is and how it can help enhance your sexual relationship without overwhelming them with too much information.
2. Your partner may say yes or no. They could also be somewhere in between. No matter their response, listen to what they have to say and respect their decision.
3. If your partner is open to trying tantric sex, find a good teacher who can help you learn more about the practice.

Getting Started: How to Prepare

Whether you’re trying tantric sex alone or with your partner, it’s important that you know these basic preparation steps to enhance the experience.

1. Read more about it. The more knowledge you have on the topic, the more prepared you’ll be.
2. Make time. Tantric sex is about savoring the moment, so moving slowly is a requirement. In fact, most tantric sex sessions last for hours or more. Make sure to set aside enough time to relish the experience fully.
3. Prepare your mind. Stretching or meditating can help clear your mind and release some of your stress. This way, you can focus on the experience.
4. Find a good place. Your environment will greatly affect your overall tantric experience. Find a quiet and comfortable space. You can also dim the lights, put on relaxing music, and light a scented candle for the best relaxing effect.

How to Build the Moment When Having Solo Tantric Sex

There are several ways you can try to build the moment when alone. You can try solo play or not go there at all. If you’re flying solo, take a look at these tips.

• Meditation. Tantric sex encourages you to focus on your breathing and bodily sensations. This lets your energy flow throughout your body, making you present in the moment while giving you strength.
• Tantric massage. Giving yourself a self-massage is a full-body experience that helps heighten your arousal and physical sensations. Get your favorite lotion or romance oil and slowly rub it on your arms, neck, chest, belly, inner thighs, and groin.
• Self-exploration. The goal of tantric sex isn’t achieving orgasm. Instead, you use this practice to feel more connected with your body by exploring your genitals and getting to know what gives them pleasure.

How to Build the Moment When Having Tantric Sex with a Partner

Tantra isn’t all about sex. You can work your way up to that or not at all. Here are some basic tantric sex principles you can try to build the moment with your partner.

• Take things slowly. Tantra is a meditative form of sex. It should be a slow and pleasant journey for both sides. Take your time exploring and savoring sensations in the moment.
• Maintain eye contact. Making and maintaining eye contact with your partner helps deepen your connection while heightening intimacy.
• Hand on hearts. Sit facing your partner while cross-legged. Put your right hand over each other’s heart, with the other hand atop your partner’s. Synchronize your breathing and feel the connection with your partner.
• Be more open. Tantric sex isn’t linear like regular sex. It doesn’t follow a script of foreplay, intercourse, and orgasm. It’s more open to experimenting and what feels good in the moment.

Breathing Technique

Breathing is a vital part of tantric sex. Focus on breathing through your diaphragm. You can do so by inhaling through your nose and exhale through your mouth five times. You should feel your stomach inflate as you do this.

When doing tantric sex with a partner, synchronizing your breath with each other helps increase intimacy and connection. You can also try a breathing technique called Kapalbhati. This is especially useful for men because it helps prolong ejaculation. Forcefully exhaling and then automatically inhaling through the mouth can help prevent early ejaculation.

Tantric Sex Positions to Try

There are several tantric sex positions you can try, but you can start with these ones.

Yab-yum

The yab-yum is considered the ultimate tantric sex position. If you do yoga, this may look like a tantra-fied version of the lotus position. You can do this by letting one partner sit cross-legged on the bed while the other person sits on their lap, straddling their partner’s waist.

It’s up to you if you’ll have penetrative sex or just want to feel your genitals rub against each other. You can also sit there and relish the moment. This position is also great for solo tantric sex. You can sit cross-legged with your back straight, put your palms on your knees, and start breathing deeply. Doing this in front of a mirror will amplify the effect and let you learn more about your body at the same time.

Connected Cunnilingus

Oral sex is called oral love in tantra language. It’s the ultimate act of pleasuring and honoring your partner’s body. You’re using your mouth to worship and bless one another. This position lets you focus on your breathing and experience a deeper connection with your partner.

As you are being worshiped, breathe through your nose and exhale through your mouth. This will help enhance the sensations you’re experiencing, from your toes to your genitals to your head and to your partner.

The relaxed arch

Spooning is one of the most intimate ways to cuddle. You and your partner can just snuggle and talk to each other without penetration. You can stay like that all night, or you can move things along by having the big spoon (penetrative partner) slowly ease inside the receiving partner.

From there, start touching yourself and each other. Get handsy. Intertwine your fingers with theirs or rub their thighs sensually.

More Tips and Ticks

Tantric sex isn’t one-size-fits-all. Each person has their own needs, wants, and preferences, but there are certain things you can do to make your experience more satisfying, such as the following.

1. Pay close attention to your breathing. Deep breathing helps you focus and be present in the moment, fully immersing yourself in the experience.
2. Engage all your senses. Play soft music. Light scented candles. Stare into each other’s eyes. Touch each other slowly. All of these help you engage all your senses, making you feel every pleasurable sensation to the fullest.
3. Being naked is not a requirement. You don’t have to get naked to experience tantric sex to the fullest. Whether clothed or naked, you can still feel immense tantric pleasure. Do whatever feels comfortable.
4. Take it slow. Tantric sex is about experiencing the moment more deeply. You can’t do that by rushing. Take your time. Relax your mind and body. Enjoy every moment of the practice.
5. Explore each other’s bodies. Don’t be afraid to touch yourself or be touched by your partner. Let them glide their hands, lips, and tongue over your body. Do the same to them.
6. Explore and experiment. When practicing tantra, you don’t have to stick to tradition. Be creative. Don’t be afraid to experiment with kinks and fetishes. BDSM, for example, incorporates a few tantric principles you can play with.
7. Going full tantra is optional. Nobody said you have to go full tantra. You can include certain tantric elements to what you’re already doing inside the bedroom. You can try adding meditation into foreplay. You can also focus on deep breathing when playing by yourself.

Wrapping Up

Tantra encourages people to center their attention on the mind-body connection rather than just the physical aspects of sex. When you’re ready to give it a try, don’t forget to focus on your body as much as your partner’s. This will help you get to know your and your partner’s body more, leading to greater intimacy and a more fulfilling sexual experience.